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‘You did a Masters Degree, didn’t you?’

‘Yeah, I did it in London’

‘What did you think about it?’

‘It was fine, but I had a nervous breakdown after it’

‘Ha ha ha ha ha ha, good one!’

‘I’m not joking, I went to therapy for 3 years.’

*laughter continues, along with some knee slapping

‘Why does everyone laugh when I tell them that?’

Working freelance as a dramaturg and a playwright feels like I’m doing my Masters Degree again. Some days feel wonderful, hopeful and exciting, but then other days I notice my bank account is less than when I was doing my Masters degree. To create work for the stage involves a lot of bearing your soul, sometimes all of your soul. How do I know this? Because my therapist told me when I asked him why do I want to scream into a pillow until my voice goes horse when I am in the middle of writing.

Last week felt like the biggest kick in the ovaries, not just one kick but many kicks. Like a SWAT team trying to kick down a door, but instead of a door it was me. It was one of those weeks where I wish I could go back in time and scream at past tense Katie ‘No, don’t do it, just go work in a bank or some shit!’ I shall fill you in on how my week went…

1. No Spanish- My Spanish is still shite, but now so much time has gone by, people are looking at me puzzled why I haven’t even mastered ‘muy bien’. So every time someone asks me something in Spanish my brain decides to panic instead of listening, which then involves a lot of running away. I may not have Spanish, but I am getting fit.
2. Rejected- I submitted my CV to a few jobs in Mexico and got no response AND submitted my work to a few organisations and got a few responses, which were not good. One response stated that it was not what they were looking for, but maybe try again next time. The other said I missed the deadline…the deadline is in May.
3. My mouthguard- I grind my teeth at night, because my brain loves to keep the tension going that I feel during the day into the night for the craic. And Frida the dog ate it, didn’t just eat it but destroyed it. And now it will be €150 to get a new one, because my freaky jaw needs one with a specific material.
4. Rats really like jumping- I was spending all day writing and decided I needed to clear my head so I went for a walk. The walk was really pleasant and my gaze fixated on this beautiful tree full of birds chirping. Little did I know, there was a rat practicing for the Olympics in the bushes. As I walked closer to the tree, the rat decided to practice his long jump right towards my face. I ran down the road  screaming and soon realised the rat was also a fantastic sprinter.
5. My bank does not like OXXO- I tried to use my card in OXXO, which is a newsagents in Mexico and found out my card was blocked. I understandably began tofreak out because that is where all my money lives. After two weeks of no response from my bank, I began tweeting at my bank to help me. Eventually, I got it sorted and finally someone was talking to by email and told me to send them the email to tell me my card was blocked. But I didn’t get an email…turns out my card was never blocked, it just does not like working in shops, but will happily work when I am at an ATM. What did I learn from this experience?  Being in constant panic for two weeks helped me fit back into my favourite jeans.

It was one of those weeks that kept on giving, don’t worry, there is more to add to the list but I cannot be bothered to type everything.

Then my thoughts trailed off thinking about after my Masters Degree, wondering was it really worth it? Was it worth the money? Is following your passion worth it when it invades so much of your mental well being? Where is Nelly Furtado? Is that her real name? What type of bird was she talking about in that song?

When I am not being rejected from theatres and organisations, I am usually writing and editing videos for my Youtube page Theatrebound©. When I did have that nervous breakdown after my Masters Degree, this weird theatre Youtube channel was my saving grace. When I finished my Masters Degree I was so unsure of my place in the theatre industry, but I knew what I wanted to do, I just didn’t know where to do it. Hence why I went online, there is a lot of freedom, but at the moment no real financial stability. The biggest boost to keep going like a true theatremaker is always when I get a good reaction from my audience.

As I uploaded another new short theatre play to my twitter, about 10 minutes later I got a comment from a playwright, a playwright who was involved in the same Masters Degree as myself. Here is my happy face reading the comment again.

I massively respect this playwright, and have been a keen admirer of her work since I met her in London. I was literally smiling from ear to ear when I read it, and immediately my mood went from ‘fuck everything what is the point?’ to ‘that is the point’.  This also happened me a few months ago when another playwright I did my Masters with messaged me saying she really liked my videos, here is another happy picture of myself with this message.

Working within the theatre industry is inconsistent, soul destroying, relentless, ruthless and well a down right motherfucking bitch bastard dickhead. The days are too long with not enough money, the work is full of fuckers who would prefer to catch the best lighting instead of the best story, people who don’t work within the industry don’t take you seriously, people who work in the industry don’t take you seriously, you spend your whole career climbing the ladder to realise actually it looks quite similar to the work being created at the bottom of the ladder, you spend all your free time trying to explore the best story/ play you want to create but you can’t think of anything because you are too tired from doing a 6AM load in, and then your mind drifts to wondering if all of this shit is fucking worth it, then suddenly…someone compliments  you on your work, someone reacts to your work and time just stops. All those negative thoughts disappear, even that weird pain in your leg disappears from where you dropped that lamp earlier in the day, or last week, its been a long day you can check that pain out with a doctor later.

AND THIS IS WHY I HATE AND LOVE THEATRE!

Having the creativity to explore and create a compelling story that can move an audience in some way shape or form is like no other. And it is not just having that creativity but there is also that energy in your stomach that craves to create a story to explore and produce it. That is why all theatremakers, including myself, allow ourselves to work in well, shite conditions. Which can be mental or physical conditions, or both, most of the time both.  You are working from your soul, which is something you have to nourish and protect. Which I never would have learnt if I didn’t have a breakdown after my Masters Degree and start going to therapy. And learning to take care of my mental well being, led me to live a happier life, which in turn, led me to meet a person that knew when tears were streaming down my face after such a shit week, just gently gave me a hug and whispered ‘I think your’e amazing’. And then fed me chips, which made me cry even more cause well, chips are the best.

Would I recommend doing a Masters Degree for other Dramaturgs and playwrights? No, go to therapy, it is way cheaper.

But Katie I thought this blog entry was about a shitty week? Well, Katie, fuck you this is now a lyrical blog entry.

Ehhh, is lyrical just an eloquent way to justify your lack of consistency. Let me guess, you are expressing yourself and this is not a lack of consistency but your stream of consciousness.

Yeah, maybe it is, listen, if James Joyce can get away with it so can I, got it!

Got it? They sound like some fighting words.

Fighting words? What do you think I am going to do? Attack you with a question mark. Cool your beans!

ANYWAY….

What advice can I give other freelance theatremakers to avoid a shitty week? Be careful of bushes, rats are very good at jumping.

Do you ever get one of those weeks, where you hate literally everything you are writing, you can’t summon any motivation to write even one word and you have forgotten for the fiftieth time to pay the other half of your credit card bill and now you have just been given an extra charge. This happened to me about two weeks. So instead of paying my credit card bill, I decided to go do a photo shoot.

About two weeks ago I did a photoshoot with Alejandro Amsel. I have wanted to do another photoshoot with him for a while. He is a great photographer with a beautiful work ethic to creating art. I know what you are thinking, ‘but I thought you were a dramaturg?’ This is true, but I am also a theatremaker, which means I like to delve into all elements of theatre. It really helps me keep my dramaturg eye sharp and objective. Any way as I was saying, a while ago I could feel my mood drop, I was feeling actually really down. When ever I feel my mood drop, I have learnt from many past experiences, that is when I need to go into a different direction artistically. This could mean, if I am writing and I feel my mood dropping, then I go to a gallery or museum. So this time I decided I needed to go into a different direction with a fellow artist.

There is nothing better than working with a fellow artist, one with a similar creative process. Alejandro and myself met each other on a dark windy evening in Dublin. Okey time for another quick tangent…

We met up with each other for a date, of course I was really late for the date and was trying to run frantically from one end of the city to the other. And when I met him, I found him so striking. He seemed very serious and composed, basically the complete opposite to me. When he told me he was a photographer on our date, my eyes glazed over with boredom. Now in my defence it is because every second person in Dublin claims to be a photographer, or should I say photographer/model/DJ/barber/music producer/gymnast. But when he showed me his pictures I was blown away, all I thought was ‘oh he really is a photographer, a real one that uses lenses instead of filters’. His work was so unique and captivating. The combination of colour and subject was beautifully visceral, I was able to understand or at least piece together a story immediately. As the conversation went late into the night, I realised we were very different, but creatively would be a very interesting team if we worked together. He was just as curious about the Arts world as I was, and eager to explore news ways of creating his Art.

Right back to writers block Katie, so we decided to do a photoshoot with this collar I created. The collar is made out of paper and lace trimming I found in a fabric shop in Mexico. In this fabric shop, I also found this amazing tulle in black and gold. We decided we might as well get the tulle, maybe we will use it in the future for something. Then it was time for the photoshoot.

The photoshoot was so much fun, half way through shooting Alejandro said ‘I have an idea’. I took the collar off my neck and we started going mad with the tulle. He would throw it in the air and let it fall gently onto my face and neck. Thanks to his amazing words of comfort he reminded me to unleash my inner diva/ tank girl, and I did. It was so much fun! We played around with my initial concept along with lighting and composition. It was exactly what my artistic soul needed.

The following day I went back down to my work, I was so full of energy from the night before that I gleefully did my work with no writers block or artists block. It is so important to step away from your work and do something you enjoy. It gives you such a fresh perspective when you return back to old work that was once frustrating, now looks far different and with more possibilities. The best way to induce new creative juices is definitely by working with other artists, whether its playing around with something new or professionally working with each other. Alejandro and myself come from very different art spaces and we both have very different approaches to our art. The thread that brings our work and minds together is that we both like to experiment and are open minded to experimentation. And coming from such different worlds, then becomes a massive asset to the creative process, we get to explore more of the arts world.

That is one thing I adore about the Arts world and working in Theatre is meeting with new Artists, it can open up a labyrinth of ideas that you wouldn’t previously explore or even think about. Who knew one dark and windy night in Dublin would lead to such exciting projects, adventures and a brilliant boyfriend. The world works in mysterious ways…

Babbel is amazing if you want to learn a language. And it does not judge. Thanks Babbel.

I have been trying to Master Spanish recently. Reading Spanish is fine, but trying to pronounce anything is a different story altogether. My boyfriend is from Mexico so he is obviously a fluent speaker in Spanish. All of his family and friends speak Spanish, and it would be really nice to be able to uphold a conversation besides using the word ‘bueno’.

I ignorantly assumed, ‘this will be easy, it is probably is similar to French’. Which is true, but does not help to roll my r’s. Anyway, I have given myself an amount of time to be somewhat fluent in Spanish, three months. To achieve this, I dramaturg-ed myself!

Pronunciation is my biggest weakness when it comes to Spanish. So I have thrown myself into every telenovela I can find on the internet. Which I have discovered are both captivating and gripping! Along with this, I learn five verbs a day, and those verbs in four different tenses. Some vocabulary, and finally teaching myself to listen! It may sound strange to some, but whenever someone starts speaking in Spanish directly to my face, I can feel my brain screaming which slowly forces me to answer them with Perdon? Then I discovered, I actually do know a lot more Spanish than I anticipated, as long as the person is not speaking directly to me. Or more specifically, when I listen and stop panicking I understand what they are saying.

Now with that new revelation, it still has not reduced the amount of awkward and confusing conversations and encounters I have experienced. Here are just a few encounters I have experienced in Mexico…

1. When a lady in the Oxxo (petrol station) asked me where did I get my necklace, I told her I lived down the road.
2. When I was discussing the weather with someone, I was saying ‘dog’ instead of ‘but. ‘Perro’ is dog and ‘pero’ is but, they are very similar to a beginner.
3. When someone asked me did I want a drink with my meal, I said no. It was 30 degrees outside, it was the only reason I was in the restaurant.
4. When I was out shopping, I thought the shopkeeper said 400 pesos, but he actually said 700 pesos. And we both just stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime.
5. When someone asked me where was I from, my weird Spanish accent made it sound like I was from London. This was not that awkward of an encounter, but it did hurt my Irish soul.
6. When someone asked me what was my job, I told them I listen. I mixed up escuchar with escribir.
7. The time when one of my boyfriends friends asked me a question, I panicked and said ‘toilette’ and ran away. That isn’t even the word for toilet in Spanish.

And there will be plenty more encounters to experience in the future. Well hopefully not too many, but it would be very naive of me to think there will be none. The difference is to have no fear when talking to people, and expect to look like a bit of a tit for a while. Thankfully I am passed the stage of caring what people think, and when I receive a less confused reaction to what I am saying, I can see I am progressing. Or else they are very good at hiding their feelings, and are smiling at me because they feel sorry for me. I’ll pretend it is the former.

Fingers crossed after the three months, I will be able to dramatically speak my boyfriend in a telenovela-esque manner. While wearing some elaborate silk dressing gown, that glides down the stairs after me.

Like many theatremakers out there, there comes a point in your career where you think, ‘AH MY BANK ACCOUNT IS EMPTY, AHHH I HAVEN’T WRITTEN IN DAYS, AHHHH THIS ISN’T MY HOUSE’.

You know just your ordinary theatremaker thoughts. I have been speaking to a lot of other theatremakers lately who have recently been asking me about the videos I make on Youtube. And I have been getting some really great responses. I think this is because I have finally gained an understanding about this whole social media shin dig. But it only started rolling some momentum recently due to one sentence I always keep telling myself ‘create the art, the money will follow’.

I recently went to Mexico because I am obsessed with Gorditas. They are so bloody delicious. I’m joking, (kind of) my boyfriend lives in Mexico, so I decided to go over to him for a bit. And had the realisation ‘oh my jesus I am going to have so much time to get some writing and work done, I MUST BRING ALL OF MY NOTEBOOKS’. Which I did, but like a lot of playwrights out there, the unavoidable and inevitable happened…the minute my brain had some time to write, I didn’t write anything, for a long time. But instead of freaking out and doing my usual routine of thought, which usually goes as follows.

 You have free time, you are going to get so much work done. 

Why aren’t you writing? Stop staring out the window! 

Dear God woman, why aren’t you writing, we will never get this amount of time to write again.

That is a pretty bird, isn’t it?

NO, STOP BEING DISTRACTED, GET BACK TO WRITING! 

Instead, I allowed myself to get a bit distracted. Whenever I am doing work as a playwright or dramaturg, I usually go into this panicked form of thought. For the obvious reasons, I am usually stuck for time and I am trying to finish about three jobs at the same time. So for the first two weeks, I did not write anything, but reminded myself that it was a process and not to start going into melt down mode. And the unexpected happened, I started writing, and was enjoying myself.

I bought a kimono and decided I needed to take several pictures of myself in the kimono with some funky filters. 

The time I allowed myself to just relax, it really refined my artistic decisiveness. My thoughts were more focused and a lot more artistically rich with material. And I was keeping up to date with plans and deadlines I have been creating for myself. Success!

Now saying that, my bank account does not look great. In fact, I was only looking at my account on my phone with one eye closed. It is fine because if I create the Art I love, the money will follow.

We went to a music festival. Which had amazing music and some unreal beers. 

If any other playwrights or dramaturgs are in similar position, just remember the theatre industry is a mad industry to work within. Make sure you step back from the madness, and don’t let the madness destroy your work. Or do involve some of the madness and write a badass play.

This was a random blog entry by the Madwoman in the Theatre.

This is a beach in Sayulita. It was stunning and absolutely breathtaking. And the sea was warm! You don’t get that back in Ireland. 

In this video, I discuss the seven stages of playwriting. I left out a few stages like self-loathing, existential terror and financial terror (when you see your bank account and realise you have a lot less money in your account than you thought!)

Along with some funny skits to highlight the joys of playwriting…or at least distract you away from your work for ten minutes. Don’t worry, we will pretend you were doing research, wink wink.

Ever hit some horrible writers block? Why not check out my entertaining and educational video, where I discuss 8 tips to help playwrights write plays. Through the power of words and random skits!

THEATREBOUND© Alternative theatre information, alternative theatremaking. 

All rights reserved to Katie Poushpom.

Ever wondered, ‘if only I had some tips, that were somewhat informative and entertaining?’

Below is a video that will satisfy that odd and unique thought. Answering questions like, ‘do I need a horse to become a strong director?’ Of course you do.

TheatreBound©, an alternative space for theatremaking and theatre information.

Katie Poushpom

Check out the video below where I explain some theatre terminology.  Then you should send it on to all your friends and family, which will be followed by a beautiful meal at the dinner table with your favourite dish, a hearty Irish stew, but then you realise you forgot to pick up your child from school! You freak out trying to find your keys, eventually find them and leap into your car. Then you remembered you don’t have a child. And watch the video again.

Enjoy the video!

TheatreBound ©, an alternative space for theatremaking and theatre information.

DRAMATURG GONE MAD…

Katie Poushpom

This dramaturg report outlines my five pieces of artistic interest in terms of dramaturgy and theatre. Some articles I have found over the past week which I find both compelling and wonderful, ok that is a bit emphatic, I just found them interesting. Pieces of information that some may not think are under the umbrella of dramaturgy which is information that is furthermore studied by the dramaturg.

Dramaturgy can not just be found on the stage, but in your pocket. Stop looking in your pocket, there is no dramaturgy in there, I lied for dramatic universal effect. Dramaturgy is not the combination of lint and receipts that have mangled together to form one ball due to your lazy efforts at washing your clothes.

Enough of that, here are my findings that may be interesting to some confusing to others and boring to some others, because they don’t like reading.

1. Createquity
This new website is dedicated to solving art’s issues, not just the sake of art, but for the well being of the humans that occupy arts land. They analyse the most common problems and issues being discussed within the art world and draw up analytical conclusions in an effort to help arts folk gain the best opportunities possible for them.

I am not playing some cruel joke, this exists, how wonderful is that! In fact I will stop writing because it is taking time away from you reading this amazing website.

Part of Your World: On the Arts and Wellbeing

2. Projection Mapping and Theatre.

Projection Mapping in theatre is where technology and theatre form a beautiful relationship. It’s like if technology and theatre went on a mad night out, then find out they are having a baby, freak out but then when the baby is born they soon realise the baby is a genius and as cute as a button. So they are really happy, but then soon realise babies are really expensive.

Projection Mapping in theatre is a projection technology used to turn objects into a display surface for video projection. Through the use of software with the intelligence to mimic any image you want to project onto the stage which is then projected in 3D.

Don’t understand what I just said, don’t worry here is a video to highlight this crazy new world of staging.

A remarkable new way of creating a set on stage and adding an incredible amount of life between player and set. Which is something to be explored and not feared. I know the digital world looks like a scary place, but it creates such a different dynamic to theatre making. Adding layers to the theatre making process that weren’t there previously. A few theatre companies and theatres have tried and tested this form of set design, and it is time more and more theatre companies to begin to practise this amazing magic.

Here is another link to a real life model maker who has these wizard like skills. And if you want to involve this form of set design into your production drop him a mail.

http://dannyrumgay.wix.com/drmaker

3. “It’s not old, it’s vintage’ – the hipster.

As I was flicking through the internet to see what was on in Irish theatre at the moment I realised that classic plays are being produced in probably every theatre in Ireland. In every theatre programme there is no doubt you will find a classic play, and why is this, because old shit is cool.

Well what I am really trying to say is without being vulgar is that classic or ancient pieces of theatre seems to still resonate to the theatre makers today. Compelled by their timeless linguistics and in depth characterisation. Further igniting enthusiasm and passion into theatre makers to stage classic plays through newer theatrical means.

Or maybe it is just because old shit is cool.

You can make up your own mind…by visiting any Irish theatre near you.

I would attach links below, but that feels rather redundant, unless you have forgotten how to type theatre and Ireland into google.

4. Tinder your audience.

Well not tinder but there is this new device on the Arts Council Ireland website, a tool that you can use to discover how many people are within driving distance to the theatre you wish to select. Presented with a driving time margin and an exact percentage of possible spectators near your theatre.

Wow, that is pretty clever Arts Council, well the praise really belongs to the All-Island Research Observatory (AIRO). Hopefully this will be a new habit from the Arts Council, funding tools and devices to help theatre thrive in Ireland.

Just Saying…

http://www.artscouncil.ie/Arts-in-Ireland/Strategic-development/Mapping-your-audience/

5. Arts Council Strategy 2016-2025

Like the last Strategy except this one has more graphics. Speaking to the artists of today in Ireland through shiny shapes and vibrant lettering. With quotes interjected between policies to confuse, I mean enthral the reader to believing these polices will be a possibility.

Ok, that seems a bit cynical.

But true…

Just saying…

http://www.artscouncil.ie/home/

Thank you for reading words that were transmitted from my brain to the computer.

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And tell your friends and family, they would love to read about the rambles from a dramaturg. And then they will ask you what is a dramaturg and you will be like ahhh I can’t remember I better go read about it again from the Madwoman in the theatre. And then you can all read this together and bond like a happy family.

Or just send them a link.

All rights reserved to Katie Poushpom, k.e.poushpom